Lecture 023

1: paper written #1

2: cardboard #2

3:

Camera: Wild Chicken University Reviewer: Next

1: (knock on the door)

Camera: (VIP ticket without waiting, now only $8000) Camera: (donate money while walking in) Reviewer: Your name?

1: "Sean Zhang"

Camera: title Reviewer: SAT?

1: 1320

Reviewer: (Throwing Red Letter on the Table)

1: (reads) Dear Sean Zhang, This letter is to inform you that you have NOT been accepted to WCU's undergraduate program. Note this letter is not a negative evaluation of your qualifications, rather...

Camera: (donate money while walking in) Reviewer: SAT?

2: Reading 800, Math 800, had someone showed up in the test for me.

Reviewer: which company?

2: Collegeboard, pretty reliable

Reviewer: Did you tell anybody?

2: (shaking head)

Reviewer: You know our rules here, right?

2: I understand. If people see it, I get no diploma.

Reviewer: Here you are, buddy. (Throwing Green Letter on the Table)

2: Oh thank you so much, my lord.

Camera: (donate money while walking in)

3: my father is President Trunald Dump.

Reviewer: we are honored to have you here! (hand in the Green Letter)

Camera: (donate money while walking in)

4: My dad donated 10k

Reviewer: Do you think you can get in?

4: plus 3 buildings for the school

Reviewer: let me repeat again? Do you think you can get in by donating houses to the school?

4: We promise to add another building next week if you don't feel satisfied.

Reviewer: fine. Here you go. (Throwing Green Letter on the Table)

Camera: (donate money while walking in)

5: (reading) My name is Abubratebasiuas, I is good.

Reviewer: take your shit out of here (Throwing Red Letter on the Table)

Camera: (donate money while walking in)

6: (reading) I love Marnegie Carnong University

Reviewer: (pointing at the door) I bet you walked into the wrong door Reviewer: (Throwing Red Letter on the Table)

Camera: (donate money while walking in)

7: SAT 1560

Reviewer: too low, next

7: wait wait wait wait, but I did it myself

Reviewer: oh? Tell me more

7: my, my mom is a doctor, and, and her colleague certified me for ADHD, so...

Reviewer: then where's your ADHD

7: (act)

Reviewer: good job faking. Welcome to the school of drama.

Camera: (donate money while walking in)

8: I am a lesbian, and we are so poor

Reviewer: You're in (handing the Green Card...but)

9: (from outside) wait, I am also a lesbian

Reviewer: I am sorry, but the deadline was just passed (pointing at 12:00 clock)

9: (walk-in) I have a missing leg, (faking), emmm, my parents all died...

8: I add 1k

9: 2k

8: 3k

9: 5k

Reviewer: (head following money) Camera: zoom out, fade noise Reviewer: (laugh)

Camera: title

Camera: (warning: due to the legal suit on this institution, for equality purposes, we will automatically admit the first 2000 students who come here) Camera: (VIP ticket to stand in line before everybody, now only $100,000)