I tried to use ChatGPT for some grammar correction, but it completely removed my personality and emotion. So the below is unfiltered, uncensored, uncorrected version that contains the original, unique voice of me. Enjoy :)
I used to just want to build cool projects. My life goal is to learn as much knowledge as I can, especially physics (God's knowledge). This subconscious fact (I enjoy learning) was discovered during my highschool. So me in highschool setup some routes to achieve the goal: (1) life is limited, but I want to learn as much as possible, one route is to extend lifetime (so maybe major in biology?) (2) study physics directly and use your life to learn, and forget about extending lifetime (3) pursuit your goal indirectly using 21 century technology: nuclear fusion, quantum, and AI could help. Nuclear fusion solves energy problem, will produce a different society layout which is exciting. Quantum speed up AI training, and to put into today's context, I was expecting everybody can train ChatGPT within a few hours, and so AGI as "the oracle" won't be too far away. Also, if the above is not possible, possibly I can leave the world with a "clone" of myself, either physically or virtually with the aid of AI who clones my personality, my language, my behavior, as close as possible. In the end, I choose (3) to major in computer science, and to prevent me going mad (many people with CS degree only want to go to Google/Amazon/... I don't want to be one of them.), I added art. Choosing CS and CMU is a trivial decision because every paths points to CS. But then, once I arrived at CMU during COVID, I missed direction. Every classes I take and didn't take appear extremely interesting to me, and is very different from the kind of knowledge I expected from highschool. I couldn't and didn't resist those knowledge. Thus, I was attracted to vastly different field. Look what shits I have learned: webapp, phone app, database, js-game, blockchain, manufacture, circuit design, ray tracing, game engine, volumetric rendering, deferred rendering, quantum mechanics, quantum computation, internet structure, GPU kernel, modeling, cellular automata, ... oh fuck. Turns out, the idea of BXA is wrong. BXA shouldn't exist. Whoever designed the major are ruin people's life! Well, in fact, the whole CFA is a mistake. People should not learn art. Just don't. No school can TEACH art. Okay, except maybe for art theory and philosophy and various technique to express art. Art theory should belong to philosophy and art technique should be taught by other schools similar to manufactures. But honestly, technique is not important, but you need to just learn ONE technique for people to appreciate your art and spend the other half of your time on building your mind in ONE area. In summary, I didn't do a single right thing in my first 2 years of college and I fucking have to redo 3 years of schooling in my Junior year, and I already passed half of it (luckily I didn't do anything too wrong in my last semester), so in 1 semester, which is unrealistic. So I am fucked. The correct way to go with this is not to collect random knowledge along the way, they do not help. They do not help at all. Nobody cares about those random knowledge since they can hardly be combined to produce the SOTA application. To see why: imagine the things you want to do live in a 1D continuous spectrum (maybe higher dimension, but for simplicity, consider 1D) leveled by alphabet. Say if you want to do a thing called J, then knowledge about H, I, J, K, L can help. But if you spend time on knowledge Z and A, then you are simply wasting your time. It might help later in your life but you should not care about what happen later in your life: there are too much uncertainty and you can't learn even one tenth of the knowledge on earth. And human resource is the 1st resource you can have. Nobody cares about you means nobody will support you to do the things you want. So stop wasting time on exploring the
E[X]. Forget about it. There EXISTS outlier and you should go for it. This realization was the best XMas gift for me and I am no longer the same me before Dec.25 2022.
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